“…and if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”
I saw this on Pinterest the other day and it’s been on my mind a lot lately – it being Valentine’s Day last week and it just being pertinent in light of what I’m trying to accomplish here within this blog.
About 9 months ago I had a health-scare that landed me in the hospital for a week (much more on that fun time later). Prior to that, I was working on losing some weight. At that time, I was standing on the scale every week and looking in the mirror at myself thinking, “sheesh,” and listing the things I hated (the usual suspects): stomach isn’t flat, abs aren’t too visible, waist isn’t snatched, arms aren’t toned, OMG look at my double chin etc. etc. In the midst of this I managed to lose 10 pounds. I was well on my way to losing the 30 pounds I wanted to lose before turning 30 in November, but I can’t say I was particularly enjoying the journey. Sure, I was encouraged when I saw the number on the scale plummeting and began seeing the results of all my hard work. That’s a given. But if you asked me to name all the things that I love, my body would’ve surely been left off the list.
I was putting too much pressure on myself. 30 pounds by 30 years old – I was on track, but all I could think about was how much further I had to go. Why was I being so hard on myself? I constantly felt like I was failing.
I read a book called ALL THINGS NEW a couple months after my hospitalization (don’t worry, definitely more on that another time but in all honesty just go buy the book now – it’s magnificently written by Lauren Miller). In it, Miller writes:
“It’s not uncommon for people who suffer trauma to experience what we call ‘post-traumatic growth.’ A radical, positive change in the wake of adversity. A paradigm shift. Instead of setting them back the trauma becomes a catalyst for growth.”
And that’s exactly what happened to me, in more ways than one.
I learned that my body is amazing. That it’s beautiful. That it’s strong. That it’s powerful beyond belief. I got out of the hospital and was so grateful to my body for fighting and for healing. I felt proud, and also sad. Sad my body had to go through all that it went through, but proud that it was capable of withstanding so much trauma. Proud that my vitals were always strong. Proud that my legs helped me get out of the bed and walk when the nurses thought I’d need a walker. Proud that my arms helped me push myself up when my torso was in too much pain to use.
Long story short, all we have is right now. While we’re endeavoring to eat healthier and workout consistently in order to look in the mirror and see what we want to see and feel what we want to feel, we can’t forget to appreciate ourselves, as we are, right now in this moment.
And right now in this moment is a pretty great time to be healthy & alive. So, I urge you to give yourself a break. Give yourself credit. Give yourself time. Give yourself attention. Give yourself love. Give yourself power. Give yourself you.